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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25055317">Lost It All</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Regret Is All We Have Left [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angry Quirin, Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, I'm Bad At Summaries, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sadness, please read the first story to understand this one</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:53:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,764</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25055317</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Quirin is released from his prison of amber into a world without his son. Filled with hurt and anger, he can't believe that his Varian, the only person he had left, could truly be gone. Because if that's true, then he's lost it all. He has so many regrets and too many mistakes he never got to fix. How did it all go so wrong?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Regret Is All We Have Left [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Then I Lost It All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title of the fic and the chapter titles are from the song "Lost It All" by the Black Veil Brides. Check it out, it's a good song.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"At least it's over now." Eugene said.</p><p>"Not yet." Rapunzel replied. "I still have one more promise to keep." Eugene looked at her, an expression of confusion twisting his handsome features. </p><p>"What are you talking about?" Lance asked. He was just as lost as Eugene. </p><p>"Quirin. Varian's father. I promised Varian that we'd find a way to save him, and I think I know how." Rapunzel's sad eyes filled with steely determination. She tried to ignore the hurt she felt whenever she said the alchemist's name. </p><p>"What're you thinking, Blondie?" A ghost of a smirk played across Eugene's face. Rapunzel took a few deep breaths before relating her plan to the men. </p><p>"Lance, I need you to round up the Royal Guard and get them to help you track down the Saporians. They need to be put back in a cell before they cause any more damage. If they're worried about defying my parents, tell them I'll be acting queen until their memories are restored. Eugene, I need you to come with me to Old Corona. I'll need you there when I use the incantation." Eugene froze. </p><p>"You don't mean the incantation we found in the great tree? The one that almost killed us!" </p><p>"That's the one." Rapunzel replied grimly. "Lance, you have to go now. We can't risk the Saporians getting away." She repeated, having seen the man lingering in shock. Lance nodded and took off in the direction of the castle. Rapunzel turned back to Eugene. "Come on. We have some amber to break!" The tiniest of smiles danced on her lips.</p><p> Resigned, Eugene called for Maximus. After a few moments, the white guard horse trotted up to them with relief shining in his eyes. Rapunzel patted his head and then hopped in the saddle. Eugene followed, though there was clear hesitation written on his features. </p><p>"Are you sure this will work, Sunshine?" </p><p>"No, but we have to try. For Varian."</p><p>***</p><p>Rapunzel slid off Max's back, feet touching Old Corona soil for the first time in more than a year. She shivered unintentionally, old memories resurfacing. </p><p>“A year on the road, and this place still gives me the creeps.” Eugene muttered. Rapunzel ignored his complaint, scanning their surroundings. Suddenly she took off in the opposite direction of the house. Caught in the throes of his memories, Eugene didn't notice until she was back with a bucket of water and shoving it into his arms. </p><p>"This is for when you need to break me out of the trance. Hopefully tossing this water on me will wake me up. If it doesn't… well then we have a problem. It's okay though, I'm sure it'll be fine." Rapunzel was trying her best to be optimistic despite the circumstances. Eugene, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. </p><p>"Sunshine-" He began.</p><p>"No. Whatever you're going to say to try and convince me otherwise, the answer is no. I have to do this." She marched determinedly up the front steps and through the broken front door. Eugene sighed, but hefted the water bucket and followed her in.</p><p>Nothing could’ve prepared them for the shock of seeing the amber again. It somehow seemed even bigger than the last time they had been there, though they knew that wasn’t possible. Varian had mentioned how the amber had stopped growing shortly after it covered Quirin. Quirin himself was suspended right where they left him. His eyes were still closed, his hand still outstretched holding the paper whose words Varian had never read. Looking at the golden tomb, Rapunzel recalled how her own mother had once faced the same fate. She shivered at the thought. </p><p>“Blondie,” Eugene’s voice broke the silence, “Do you really think it’s a good idea to bring him back into a world where the only person he had left is de- gone? Or, is he even still alive in there?” There was a long pause before Rapunzel answered.  </p><p>“I don’t know, Eugene. But I do know that all Varian wanted was for his father to be free. I won’t deny him that.” A solitary tear slid down Rapunzel’s face. Eugene nodded in understanding. </p><p>“Do what you’ve gotta do, Blondie. I’ll be here.” Rapunzel smiled at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She stepped forward and began to slowly wrap her hair around the amber. </p><p>She wrapped the last tendrils around the top of the curling spikes and stepped back, surveying her work. </p><p>“You ready?” Eugene asked.</p><p>“Ready as I’ll ever be.” She responded, closing her eyes. She took a deep breath and began to chant:</p><p>“Wither and decay<br/>
End this destiny<br/>
Break these earthly chains<br/>
And set the spirit free”</p><p>Eugene hissed as he felt his energy begin to drain. Resisting the urge to lay down and not get up again, he glanced at the amber. It was working! His eyes widened at the steam rising from the melting substance. He looked between Rapunzel and the amber, caution in his gaze. He felt a throbbing in his head as Rapunzel began to sing the familiar, haunting melody. </p><p>“Wither and decay<br/>
End this destiny<br/>
Break these earthly chains<br/>
And set the spirit free<br/>
The spirit free”</p><p>Eugene’s senses of awe and pain grew as the last of the amber melted away, leaving Quirin kneeling on the floor. For the briefest of moments, he feared that Quirin really was dead. Then he saw the man move and his spirits leapt. Remembering Rapunzel, he turned and threw the bucket bucket’s contents on her. To his surprise, as soon as the water made contact with the princess, it evaporated in a cloud of steam. He was frozen in fear for a split second before he heard a groan from Quirin and remembered his goal. Stepping towards his girlfriend, he reached for her face. Just before his hands made contact, he quickly drew them back, remembering what happened to Cassandra. Desperately, he racked his brain for some way to snap Rapunzel out her dark trance. </p><p>“Rapunzel, you are my sunshine. I love you. I know you’re stronger than this. Please fight it, for me and for Varian.” Rapunzel gasped, collapsing as her eyes returned to green and her hair flooded with gold. Eugene caught her as his energy returned, lowering her gently to the floor. As soon as he knew she was alright, Eugene dashed into the liquid gold to help Quirin. Carefully, he grasped one of the older man’s hands in his own, but before he could open his mouth, Quirin spoke.  </p><p>“Varian?”</p><p>***</p><p>Quirin fell to his knees in the now liquidated amber. A million thoughts flew through his head at high speed. How long had he been trapped? What was happening? Was Varian okay? Quirin fought to stay upright as an abnormal weakness came over him. All of a sudden, some of his strength came back to him. He was still tired, and his vision was strangely blurred, but he felt far better. His head snapped up as a figure sloshed into the amber in front of him. The person in front of him had dark hair like his son’s, though he was far taller than Quirin’s Varian. The question of how Quirin had been gone flashed in his head again. Had it been years?  </p><p>Quirin shook off his trepidation and asked “Varian?” The figure in front him scooted back as if in shock. Finally, his vision came into focus and he realized he was looking into the dejected face of none other than Eugene Fitzherbert. “I’m sorry.” Quirin said, confused. “Where is my son?”</p><p>“I- uh,” Eugene stuttered, clearly trying to find an answer.</p><p>“Where is my son?” Quirin repeated more forcefully.</p><p>“Quirin, you may want to rest a bit, find some place to sit down.” Rapunzel interjected. Her response did nothing to quell Quirin’s growing anxiety. </p><p>“What happened? Where is Varian?” Quirin demanded, the volume of his voice rising with every word. He saw the princess’s expression shift into despair and her eyes begin to fill with tears. His own eyes widened with fear for what she’d say next. </p><p>“I'm so sorry, Quirin. He’s gone. I- I couldn’t save him.” The princess let out a choked sob. </p><p>“No…” Quirin whispered. She had to be wrong! His Varian couldn’t be dead. He’d already lost his wife…</p><p>“I’m sorry.” The princess repeated. “There were Saporians, they had an airship and Varian-” </p><p>“You’re lying.” Quirin growled, struggling to his feet. The Princess Rapunzel looked taken aback. Her expression was full of confusion. </p><p>“No, I-”</p><p>“You. Are. Lying!” Quirin shouted. “What did you do with my boy? What did you do to my Varian?!” Tears were streaming down the princess’s face. He knew he shouldn’t speak to royalty in such a manner, but he no longer cared. Not when his boy was involved. They must have used his absence to their advantage to take Varian away. </p><p>“Please, Quirin, I-”</p><p>“Get out.” He rumbled, stalking towards the princess. He felt a hand on his bicep trying to pull him back, but shook it off easily. </p><p>“W-what?” The princess asked. Quirin was annoyed. He didn’t have time for the princess’s stalling. </p><p>“I said, get out of my house!” He yelled. The princess stared at him, wide eyed. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. Eugene appeared at her side, taking her by the arm. </p><p>“Rapunzel, I think we should go.” He said quietly. Quirin stayed silent, glaring down at them. Rapunzel allowed for Eugene to lead her away, though she never once took eyes off Quirin. He found the tears in her eyes unnerving. As soon as they were outside, Quirin slammed what was left of the door in their faces. </p><p>As he stalked away, he considered what he’d just done. He’d slammed the door in the face of the princess of Corona. Not to mention yelling and calling her a liar. If the matter was anything else, he knew he never would have reacted that way. He respected the monarchy and did his best to show it. He really shouldn’t have done those things. But he didn’t care. Not when Varian was in trouble.</p><p>Besides, she really was a liar. His son couldn’t be dead.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Just Trying To Breathe, Just Trying To Figure It Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the late update guys! Life, huh? Really likes to mess with ya. Anyway, ready your tissues mates.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Quirin checked Varian's bedroom first. He knew the chances of the boy being there were slim, seeing as Varian fell asleep in his lab more often than not, but he had to try. He ran up the staircase and threw open the door. The second he stepped inside he knew Varian wouldn't be there, nor any trace of him. Everything in the room was covered in a thick layer of dust, seemingly untouched. Quirin couldn't tell how long it had been since anyone had entered the room, but the dust indicated that it had been a very long time indeed. </p><p>Quirin tried his best to quell his growing panic. He told himself that he'd find his son, his Varian would be okay. He wouldn't lose his son like he lost his wife. He wouldn't let that happen. Somewhere in his house, there had to be a hint to his son's disappearance. He knew if he'd find it anywhere, it would be in his son's lab. Varian spent almost all of his time down there. Quirin knew he'd been down in the lab earlier when the princess-the liar- had released him from the amber, but he hadn't had a good look around. He'd been far too focused on removing the princess and her boyfriend from the premises. </p><p>Quirin sped back down the stairs to the first floor. Every moment he wasted was another moment Varian was in trouble.<br/>
He rushed into the lab, half expecting Varian to be asleep on the desk again. What he found instead left him speechless. </p><p>Varian's lab was a wreck. Shattered glass littered the floor along with drawings and blueprints. The shelves on the wall were crooked and Quirin noticed the distinct lack of chemicals and solutions. In the middle of the floor sat the remains of some giant drill. Quirin avoided thinking about what that was for. Then, out of the corner of his eye, Quirin noticed a figure slumped on the ground by the window. Heartbeat quickening, Quirin stepped towards the window. His eyes widened as he took in the familiar person on the floor. Varian! It was- a doll. Quirin yelled in frustration as he realized the figure he’d scooped up was in fact a cruel, stuffed rendering of his son. Throwing the doll aside, he stormed out of the dusty lab. He headed for the front door of the house, determined to find his son some other way. As he stalked down the hallway, he heard a slamming sound from the kitchen. Immediately he changed course and ran for the noise. </p><p>"Varian?" He called, "Varian, is that you?" He dared to hope for a moment that his son had somehow returned home while he was occupied. He stopped outside the door for a moment, lamenting the lack of an answer. Still though, he had to check. He pushed open the door and stepped inside slowly. There on the dusty counter, a raccoon sat on his hind legs, rifling through the cabinets. Quirin growled annoyance and went to shoo off the pest. The raccoon turned and chittered at him. Recognition struck Quirin like a slap to the face. This was Varian's raccoon! What was its name again? Rodinger? Rudling? No, that wasn't it. He racked his brain, trying to remember a time when he'd heard his son talking about the critter. He thought back to when Varian first brought home the raccoon and proudly presented it to Quirin, telling him he'd found a new friend. Ruddiger! That was what Varian had called him. </p><p>"Ruddiger," Quirin said as softly as he could manage, "have you seen Varian?" Quirin felt foolish talking to an animal, but Varian had always said that the raccoon was strangely intelligent. Almost human emotions flickered in the raccoon’s eyes. He seemed to recognize Quirin, nuzzling the man’s large hand where he’d reached out. “Please, Ruddiger. Do you have any idea where Varian might be.” If Quirin didn’t know better, he might have said that a look of foreboding crossed Ruddiger’s face. The raccoon hopped down from the counter and ran towards the door. Quirin followed moments after, unsure if Ruddiger was really taking him somewhere or if the raccoon was on his own agenda. </p><p>Following behind Ruddiger, Quirin noticed how thin the animal was. In a split second decision, he scooped up the raccoon and carried him into the orchard. At first Ruddiger had scrabbled at Quirin’s arms, but he quickly calmed down when he realized where they were going. Quirin grabbed a ladder that was leaning against the shed and set it up in front of one of the apple trees. He didn’t know how long he’d been encased, but it had been winter when it happened. Now it had to be summer.</p><p>Quirin scaled the ladder and grabbed hold of a large red apple, twisting it in his hand so that the stem would pop off the branch. He climbed back down and held out the red fruit to Ruddiger, who eagerly took it in his paws and devoured it. Slightly taken aback by the little raccoon’s fervency, he climbed the ladder again to retrieve another apple. This time Ruddiger ate more slowly. Quirin wondered how Varian could have let his pet starve like this. When Ruddiger finished his apple, he pulled Quirin out of his thoughts by taking Quirin’s pant leg in his teeth and pulling on it. He then straightened his back, stretching out his tail and pointed his nose down the main road as if gesturing for Quirin to go that way. Almost before Quirin could react, Ruddiger took off again. </p><p>Quirin followed the critter as best he could, but he was tired and Ruddiger was quick on his- paws? Feet? Quirin followed him for a long time, unsure of where they were going. A few times he lost the raccoon, but his son's furry friend always doubled back to find him. A few times, when Quirin's worries got the better of him, Ruddiger climbed up to the man's shoulder and chittered softly as if he was trying to comfort Quirin. Quirin was starting to understand why Varian loved Ruddiger so much. </p><p>The closer Quirin drew to the capital, the more his sense of dread grew. If Ruddiger could talk, Quirin was sure he'd say the same. The raccoon seemed to be twitching nervously with every step. Quirin was beginning to wonder what could cause Ruddiger to be so afraid when they stepped into the town square. Having trained his eyes on the raccoon for the majority of the trek, Quirin had barely noticed where he was being led. To his surprise, instead of his shoes hitting the cobblestone of the capital's center, his foot connected with a piece of broken and burnt wood. </p><p>Slowly, Quirin lifted his gaze. Scattered across the cold stone were the remains of something large and wooden. Most of the pieces were burned or mangled, but Quirin could make out one very large section that looked strangely like the prow of a ship. Huge sections of cloth were draped across some of the pieces. But what were the pieces of a ship doing in the square? And where did so much cloth come from? Why was it all burned? Familiarity tugged at the back of Quirin's mind. Suddenly a memory played in his head. </p><p>"There were Saporians, they had an airship…" </p><p>That was what the princess had told him. But no, she'd been lying. It was a trick, an elaborate scheme. It had to be! </p><p>A few feet away, the glint of metal caught Quirin's eye. He stepped forward and knelt down, carefully to avoid the splintered wood all around him. He scooped up the object in one gloved hand and stared down at it. As he inspected the thing in his hand, he froze in shock. Ruddiger ran up Quirin's back and settled on his shoulder, peering into the man's hand. What sat in Quirin’s palm almost sent the raccoon running. </p><p>Varian’s goggles, covered in blood and lenses shattered.</p><p>Quirin’s mouth dropped open and he nearly toppled over. Tears welled up in his eyes as the pieces came together in his mind. Everything made horrifying sense. His son’s absence, the princess’s story, the expressions on her and Eugene’s faces when he brought up Varian, the pieces of the ship on dry land, and Varian’s bloody goggles. It all made too much sense.</p><p>Footsteps from behind him startled Quirin. He whipped around, sending a dark glare at the person and not bothering to wipe away the tears that kept falling. As he glared, the person came into focus. Princess Rapunzel stood in front him, one hand wiping away a few stray tears from her cheeks. She stepped back, no doubt a result of his vicious stare. She clamped a hand over her mouth as she noticed the goggles in Quirin’s hand. </p><p>“Quirin…” She murmured. </p><p>“Please, don’t, your Highness.” He said, his voice thick. He couldn’t bear to hear her story, not yet. She nodded. </p><p>“We- his body is in the palace morgue.” The princess ground out the words as if they were physically hurting her. Quirin’s eyes widened as she continued. “I can take you there if you want.” Her tone was the darkest Quirin had ever heard it. The somber young woman standing in front of him was a sharp contrast to the bright happy princess who ran around the kingdom helping in whatever way she could. </p><p>Quirin couldn’t bring himself to reply, instead simply nodding to her and getting to his feet. The goggles in his hand felt as though they weighed a thousand pounds. The princess turned and began to walk away. Quirin followed, empty and numb. </p><p>***</p><p>Quirin nearly walked straight into the princess as she came to an abrupt halt outside a door on the lower levels of the palace. He snapped back to reality, the weight of what he was about to see crashing down on him. The princess stepped aside, allowing him to take his time. With a shaking hand, Quirin reached out and turned the doorknob. Even the creaking of the door as it opened seemed like a warning to Quirin. He ignored every voice in his head screaming at him to run away and pretend like this hadn't happened, like Varian was still alive. He had to do it. He had to say goodbye to his son. </p><p>Quirin stepped into the room. The only lighting was a few torches on the wall and the room was mostly empty. In the center sat a table covered in white. Almost as if he wasn't in control of his body, Quirin walked forward and pulled back the sheet on the table just enough to see his son's face. He feared what he might see if he pulled it back all the way, and yet just staring at his boy's face sent him scrambling backwards.</p><p>It was pale. Far too pale. Varian's face was blank, which was the one look Quirin had never seen on the boy. He'd seen excitement, sadness, anger, guilt, annoyance, but never this blank stare. Even when Quirin had seen him sleep, Varian's face was never that empty. And then the certainty hit him like a ton of bricks.</p><p>Varian</p><p>Was</p><p>Dead.</p><p>And Quirin's world shattered. </p><p>***</p><p>The anguished roar that left Quirin was unlike anything Rapunzel had ever heard. She ran into the room and tried to comfort the man, but it was like nothing she said or did got through to him. It was like she wasn't even there to him. She heard the clanking of metal as guards rushed into the room. </p><p>"Princess, is everything alright?" One guard asked. </p><p>"Yes. Please, leave us alone." She said as politely as possible. The guards took in the scene, realizing what was going on. They nodded solemnly and retreated back down the hallway. </p><p>Rapunzel sat holding Quirin's hand for as long as she could, and still he did not respond. She had no idea what was going on in the man's head. She remembered the pain she'd felt upon realizing that Varian was gone, and knew that what Quirin was feeling had to be ten times that. He was Varian's father, the man Varian had done everything in his power to save. </p><p>He wouldn't want Quirin to be left like this. </p><p>And so Rapunzel devised a plan.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>SO please nobody kill me. And also, prepare yourselves. The next chapter absolutely does not get better. Just to clarify, although I don't want to spoil the story, just be aware that I will not be making Quirin commit suicide. It is not a topic that I feel comfortable writing about, nor do I think it needs to be included. I think some readers may have gotten that impression, so I just wanted to say that that will not be happening. </p><p>I hope you guys are enjoying this fic! Kudos and comments are much appreciated, and thanks to everyone who's left kind comments. They mean a lot guys! Get ready for the final, super long chapter. Might take a few days to get out because it's gonna be reaalllyyy long. Or, if you guys want, I could split it into two chapters and get it out sooner. Lemme know what y'all want!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Somebody needs to tell me to stop listening to the Black Veil Brides and MCR while I write.</p><p>Sorry this chapter was short guys, I've been pretty busy the last few days. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, cause there are two more coming. Also, Hamilton came out on Disney+ today!! Also, guys, I'm going backpacking for the next two days so unfortunately I won't have service and therefore I won't be able to get the next chapter out until Monday. So sorry! I'll stop rambling now, though. Kudos and comments are very much appreciated ;) See y'all next chapter.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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